16Jan

Placed by: sadko. Rating: Votes: 2. Vote:         Send this joke to your friend

ххх: do you have children!?
ууу: yes, I’ve got 3 kids! :-)
ххх: Fucking shit! Did you have them in a sequential or parallel way?

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16Jan

Placed by: sadko. Rating: Votes: 0. Vote:         Send this joke to your friend

Stolespolen: Yesterday I was sitting, drinking beer and eating dried octopuses. They were very tasty. Just out of curiosity I decided to read what was written on their pack. It went like:
"Octopuses are the most caring parents in all the Pacific, They can make friends with people and trust them so much that can let them very close to their houses ".
I choked on a piece of octopus.

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16Jan

Placed by: sadko. Rating: Votes: 0. Vote:         Send this joke to your friend

It was in a military college.
Some of the students played a silly trick on the head of the college and now he was standing in front of 100+ students and telling them off:

- what the fuck do you think you are doing? Are you trying to kill me ??? Fuck off !!! you can kill me only by giving me a blow-job !!!

A loud whisper from the row of the students:
- we’ll make you commit a suicide...

Everybody burst out laughing so that scared crows were falling down from the nearby trees )))

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16Jan

Placed by: sadko. Rating: Votes: 0. Vote:         Send this joke to your friend

yyy
Honey, the girls have invited me to a movie theater tonight to see mamma mia musical. Is it ok if I go without you?
xxx

Yes, darling.
yyy
Honey, do you think you could buy me a car?))))
xxx
Yes, darling..
yyy
and I also want to go to the sea for out holidays and I want you to come to my office right now
xxx
Yes, darling.
yyy
AND ALSO HONEY tonight we are going to make children)))
xxx
Yes, darling.
yyy
finally HONEY I want you to switch off you FUCKING QIP-BOT!!!!!
xxx
Yes, darling..
xxx
О_о
ROLF!!! That’s what they call successful communication!:)

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16Jan

Placed by: sadko. Rating: Votes: 0. Vote:         Send this joke to your friend

xxx: a policeman came up to an emo boy in the subway and asked him why his eyes are so red
xxx: the boy said because he had been crying
xxx: the policeman didn’t believe him, started asking him various questions obviously trying to figure out if the boy was on drugs or not. After 5 minutes of this questioning the boy burst into tears..
xxx: I have never seen such a scared policeman in all my life =))

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16Jan

Placed by: sadko. Rating: Votes: 0. Vote:         Send this joke to your friend

Serious girls are like serious sites. If you want to get access to additional functions you need to get registered.

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16Jan

Placed by: sadko. Rating: Votes: 0. Vote:         Send this joke to your friend

™-=ORION=-™: life is complicated.
nikito: life is a game with a cool drawing
™-=ORION=-™: I agree.
nikito: and I’m stuck on the level where I have got a $1000 salary

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16Jan

Placed by: sadko. Rating: Votes: 0. Vote:         Send this joke to your friend

xxx: ..it was the first time those idiots came to the office on time, so they stood under the clock on the wall and asked me to take a picture of them and the clock)

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16Jan

Placed by: sadko. Rating: Votes: 0. Vote:         Send this joke to your friend

JiliaInferno ) (18:28:59 13/12/2008)
I’ve suddenly realized that I don’t need you any more
JiliaInferno) (19:21:49 21/12/2008)
hi how can I extract an archived file if there’s a password and I don’t know it???

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16Jan

Placed by: sadko. Rating: Votes: 0. Vote:         Send this joke to your friend

<Boteg> Question #11: The last word said by the falling body before it lands. (4 letters)
<MustoKrakesh> fuck

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16Jan

Placed by: sadko. Rating: Votes: 0. Vote:         Send this joke to your friend

There’s a forest near the village and some stupid locals keep dumping their rubbish right into the forest. So some clever people put an announcement near that dump:
"Hello, dear motherfucker,
thanks for your rubbish!
Now your family will be damned
7 generations ahead.
Say Hi to your relatives.
Druid."

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16Jan

Placed by: sadko. Rating: Votes: 0. Vote:         Send this joke to your friend

xxx (21:37:37 3/11/2008)
why don’t Christianity forbid eating apples?

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16Jan

Placed by: sadko. Rating: Votes: 0. Vote:         Send this joke to your friend

She
That’s right. Even a married man has the right for his privacy.

He
Did you tell this to your husband?

She
sure

She
we don’t look into each other’s mobile phones

He
let me send you a text message “Thanks for a lovely night, darling. I want to put into your sweet ass once again. Your Beast”

and you will see if you REALLY look into each other’s mobiles or not. But I’m afraid that you will see it posthumously, looking down from a cloud in heavens.

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16Jan

Placed by: sadko. Rating: Votes: 0. Vote:         Send this joke to your friend

xxx: I’m depressed. I’m gonna die, unless I have some sex soon...
yyy: “The absence of reorganization of the genetic material makes infusorians get depressed and eventually die” ( B. Dogel “Zoology of Invertebrate ” page 80)

yyy: darling, you are an unicellular:)

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14Jan

Placed by: sadko. Rating: Votes: 0. Vote:         Send this joke to your friend

Some time ago I saw the opening of para-olimpic games in the news and thought that it’d be nice to have also super-olimpic games held where all sorts of dope will be officially permitted ;)

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14Jan

Placed by: sadko. Rating: Votes: 0. Vote:         Send this joke to your friend

he:
by the way… talking about batteries... when I was about3-4 years old I thought that women are human-looking robots...

he:
all because those fucking commercials on TV.

he:
it was hard for a kid’s brain.

he:
I mean advertisements of tampons.

he:
I thought they were batteries which should be changed regularly...

he:
once a woman changes the battery she can enjoy herself again, play tennis, dance and so on.

она:
oh my! :-D

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14Jan

Placed by: sadko. Rating: Votes: 0. Vote:         Send this joke to your friend

<Matrim> today a PC was brought to us with the complaint about some strange sounds coming from inside during work. I took the system unit into pieces....
<Matrim> I have never seen such a scared hamster before in all my life О_о"

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14Jan

Placed by: sadko. Rating: Votes: 0. Vote:         Send this joke to your friend

Clair:
fucking shit, why do I need a mobile phone? No one has called me through the whole day...
0z:
fucking shit, why do I need a dick? No one has given me a blow-job through the whole day...
Clair:
Brandon..!
0z:
) Do you what me to call you?
Clair:
shit!!!

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14Jan

Placed by: sadko. Rating: Votes: 0. Vote:         Send this joke to your friend

And the most interesting poses appear quite accidentally – once I dropped something between the sofa and the wall...

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14Jan

Placed by: sadko. Rating: Votes: 0. Vote:         Send this joke to your friend

bgg... I’ve found a copy-book with my old diary. The last entry: “today I’ve got connected to the internet. It’s curious. I’ll describe my impressions later..." and that was the end)))

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