BLM: you can ban me from your IRC, but you'll never be able to ban me from masturbating on you photos:-)
•••••
N.O.E.D.> Tetsuo: in your opinion, what is the minimal number of men, fucking each other in a 'train' enought to enclose a circle? ?
N.O.E.D.> I'm just asking....?
N.O.E.D.> why everybody got numb?!?
alabama> N.O.E.D.: are you making plans for the week-end??
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Mapkyc> Yesterday I left my notebook on the floor near my bed. My mother-in-law decided that it was a pair of scales and stepped on them to check her weight. Fucking bitch weights $1500.
Today I was in a small company that has an office with a separate entrance. It was hot, the front door was open. We were discussing business with their manager – a very serious and important-looking man, of about 40-45 years old. Suddenly a sparrow appeared at the door, jumped on the manager’s table and stood for a while waiting for something. With a habitual motion the manager opened a drawer, took out a crisp and threw it to the sparrow. The bird caught it and quickly made its way out of the office.
Answering a silent question in my eyes, the manager said:
<quest_D> Going back home from the office today was so fucking tiring. It was really hot in the bus and in the subway as well…shit
<miracle> where’s your car?
<quest_D> shit
<quest_D> I have a car!
<quest_D> fuck! It’s on the parking ground next to the office..
RealLove(He)@Work:
I was in a bus going to my office when I saw this extremely romantic sight. A couple of excavators on the bank of a lake were scooping water with their scoops and pouring it on their cabs. They were splashing like happy elephants… Everybody on the bus, especially women, stared at them. I don’t know what happened after that, but most likely the excavators started to caress each other...
--good start--
there used to be a lifting crane in the yard in front of our office…within 2 days it was taken to pieces and carried away, the
security men got the explanation: it is ours.
--bad end--
today the real owner of the crane came up. The security men gave a start and became older, their boss is asking whom he
can sell his kidneys to...
Kate:
It was fun today. In the office the programmers called me and asked how to use the scanner! I turned out to be the only
one in the office who could figure out how it works!
Kate:
are you proud of me?
Panenshin:
I’m proud of the programmers))
they know how to play a joke)
<Zeratul> shit, that kills my brain
<Zeratul> a guy in our office
<Zeratul> got married during the lunch break today
<Zeratul> just fucking went out and fucking got married х)
<Zeratul> instead of lunch
proff: Fuck... I’ve just got an occupational injury.
aXis: Do system administrators have occupational injuries?!! :))) Is it like a bottle of beer fell from the table on your foot?
proff: I was moving the net cable in the office and accidentally set down on the pot with a cactus... Shit, it’s so painful! Now I must look fucking ridiculous bending over the table in front of my PC, cause I’m not able to sit down so far...
aXis: Shit... I’m glad I’m a manager... (crossing myself)
arthropod> today on the way to the office I got stuck in a traffic-jam
arthropod> then in the office I got stuck in the elevator – I spent there 2 hours before they rescued me
arthropod> then my hand got stuck in the handle of the teakettle
arthropod> people, I was going to have sex tonight, but now I’m kinda scared.
xxx> the users in the office almost killed me today. I came in the morning, half sleeping after the system administrator’s wild weekend and they were sitting there staring bluntly at the screens and on all the screens there were bsod pictures. I thought I was heading for a heart attack. It turned out that they put the picture as a wallpaper to play this fucking joke on me, they are fucking assholes =(
xxx: last week we had a seminar on corporate culture and social etiquette in our company
xxx: on Saturday during the ceremony of giving out certificates of the successful completion of the seminar the phone started ringing and a voice from the depth of the office said "are they fucking idiots to call here on Saturdays?!"
xxx we’ve got a new toy in the office – a automatic screwdriver...
yyy oh I know, it’s an infernal invention
xxx all the day we were testing what can be used in it as a nozzle.
yyy and?
xxx first we tried a pencil...
xxx we were drawing with the turbo-pencil on some empty cardboard boxes
yyy о_О
xxx we stirred coffee with a turbo-spoon... we didn’t risk to test a turbo-fox in plate of spaghetti...
xxx then we tried a marker... our boss wrote with the turbo-marker on the wall next to the door the word FUCK
xxx he said it would be easy to wipe out. he took a tissue for cleaning screens and wiped and… the word became even brighter!
xxx so a sheet of paper with the words "the truth is over there " was printed out and hung over the word FUCK...
user> I was in the office this morning ...
user> working all in a hurry because tomorrow is the dead-line for my project!
user> the walls are thin and the PC is old and like 99% overloaded with stuff
user> I didn’t quite control myself ...
user> so after about 40 minutes of this suffering my door opened
user> and a man’s head showed in. He said with a grin:
user> - Sorry, I am working just behind this wall and I didn’t want to disturb you...
user> but I felt I absolutely had to go and see with my own eyes that FUCKING MORONIC MARINATED PUSSY ON A STICK CALLED A MOUSE THAT GOT FUCKING BROKEN LIKE A SCARED ANUS AT THE MOST HARD FUCKING MOMENT OF MY SHITTY WORK, sorry once again
user> and he disappeared behind the door continuing to murmur “sorry, sorry”
I was in the office and I got a brilliant idea – to get under the table and have a nap=). If someone catches me I can say kinda “there was something wrong with the PC, I tried to look inside and got electrified =)
I’m alone in the office, programming and al sorts of fucking with the computers for quite a long time already. There coffee-machine is standing just by my side. Suddenly and all by itself, this magic device makes the sound of water flushing down the toilet and spits out a portion of muddy-looking liquid. My first idea at that moment is like – “cache flush!”
We decided to have some fun in the office: created the webcam shortcut on the desktop and called it “What an ugly face...”. Changed the icon to .jpeg, so everyone would think that was just the picture. Of course there were a lot who those who opened it. We almost split our sides with laughter seeing their faces while watching it :-)
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